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DREAM: Terminal cancer, the restaurant bathroom, traveling, and gangsters

This article is copyrighted (c) to Christina Roberts. All rights reserved.

This is the second dream I’ve had, nearly in a row, where my fiance had some kind of terminal illness. In this dream, my fiance and I were going to go traveling. I was concerned because he had cancer (stage and particular type never stated, except that it was implied it was brain cancer).

I kept softly telling him he should seek an opinion from a different doctor, but he didn’t seem interested in seeking any kind of treatment or another opinion. Instead, he was focused on getting a promotion and going on this trip with me “while he still had time”.

So we focused on preparing for the trip. However, an old lady, grandma-aged, thin and quite refined, took it upon herself to upgrade our flight tickets and bring herself along. We found this out when we met with her, and a young woman with the old lady, who never stated who she was, at a restaurant. My fiance and I were quiet and unsettled that the old lady had changed our tickets without our consent.

Then, the scene switched to my fiance and I living in a big, old home. It felt like a southern 19th century plantation-style home, but I never got to see the exterior or the grounds. I needed to go to the bathroom, but our home, for some reason, I guess, didn’t have one. So we went down the block to an old, dingy restaurant with a lot of smoke vapors in the air and we went inside. On our way out, the woman in charge, who was rather rough, asked us, “wait a minute — have you seen my helper?” I asked, “No. Did your helper not come in at all?” She said no and then implied that we not having purchased something, but used their restroom, was not okay. I could see what she was saying and asked, “Do you have anything small, like snack-sized?” She said no, but I saw Hershey’s candy bars on a rack behind her near the counter, mounted on the wall. We bought 2 of those and left.

I commented to my fiance, “This is why I don’t like going to the bathroom in public places when we don’t have the intention to buy anything…” My fiance said nothing.

We got our things together and left for our trip. However, a local gang in town, which had been holding up traffic for some weeks, seemed to have some grievance against my fiance and were out to kill him if he showed himself again. They had a few cars blocking the road to the airport and a few men were out stopping every car. Well, we were driving along in a black SUV and our driver cursed that “the gang is still active — I thought they’d be gone by now.”

When we came to where the gang was, a few gang members on the street stopped us. We asked, “can we help you with anything?” The man that seemed to be the leader said yeah and looked in through the front passenger window, to the back passenger seat, at my fiance. He grinned and said, to the effect, that my fiancee only had a little bit of time left, so step out and he’d end it for him.

We both sat quietly. I leaned forward and said to the man, “Can I make a request to you? I’m his fiancee.” It was the first time the boss had seen me and he agreed, after some hesitation.

I got out rather composed, in a peach/pink, knee-length dress, sort of dolled up, and I asked, “Since my fiance may only have little bit of time left, could you please overlook the offense?” My lip quivered.

The sight of me trying so hard to be composed and calm got to him. He said, “Not this–!” and put his guns up and walked off. His men went with him. I stood for a minute or so longer, watching them all get in their vehicles and leave. Then I got back in the SUV. Someone in the seat (who I never did see) asked, “are they really gone?”

When it seemed they were and we resumed, I leaned over to the left and buried my face in my fiance’s lap and wept, because he had cancer and was going to die soon.

I’m not sure about the whole fiance having an illness thing. Since I’ve had this type of dream 2 times now, it’s unnerved me a little. I prayed for his health, safety, and longevity. Maybe this whole scenario is my subconscious fear of something happening to him before or shortly after we get married. The gangster aspect might be because I recently finished writing a book about a drug dealer. Not a gangster, but still low life along those lines. The traveling is the easiest part: my fiance and I have been talking a lot about our traveling to our home after the wedding ceremony and our honeymoon to WA State. Recently, he handled our car rental reservation, plane tickets, and hotel. All these things wrapped up made for an interesting emotional roller coaster in a dream.