Last night, I had a dream that felt like 2 or 3 dreams that somehow connected all together. It was, yet again, another marriage ceremony-related nightmare of sorts. In this dream, my fiance and I were going to our wedding ceremony. We drove quite a distance and ended up at a large resort-type area. We went inside to a large room with wooden walls and black, hard chairs set about wooden tables. No one was in there except my fiance’s family. It was inferred that we’d gone there out of the request of his parents, though the reason was not stated.
We met them for a few minutes and then I told my fiance we should get ready for the ceremony. Even though this wasn’t the correct place of the ceremony, we went about preparing, anyway. Soon, some dozens of people had arrived. Everything seemed to be going well until I “realized” that this wasn’t the right location and I hastily told my fiance. All the people needed to leave and go to the right place, which was a church.
We progressed to try to push and shoo the people out and tell them to go to the church. In the mess, he and I progressed to try to leave ourselves. However, the exit eluded us and we had to persevere through a weird maze of hallways. During our leave, we also had to go through an old lady’s apartment, which consisted of pale peach and pink walls. All her rooms were very small, narrow, and had steps up and steps down and parts of walls here and there. We were both confused, but eventually found our way out.
When outside in the very sunny, warm weather, with a large pool nearby, my fiance’s car was waiting for us at a white gate. We got in to go to the correct place for our ceremony. However, along the way, we got lost. I’m not sure what happened to his car, for we were suddenly on foot back in Vancouver, WA, where I’d lived through my teens and younger adult years. We were walking quickly and he was reassuring me we’d be on time.
As we walked along a sidewalk, I turned to talk with him, but he was gone! Panicked, I looked about and started to run up the sidewalk, thinking maybe he’d gone on ahead. But I didn’t find him anywhere. Worried and afraid, I kept on, hoping to get to my destination and find him there, but I couldn’t find my way. I went this way and that, constantly growing more weary and afraid. Then, I thought I’d call my parents to get directions. But I didn’t have my phone! In addition, I actually had no item to use for directions and no money. This really worried me and I began to grow very, very afraid. On I went, as the day wore on, and then it started to get dark.
Crying, I sought refuge in a long, narrow indoor strip mall of sorts. I sought a place where I could use a phone. I found such a place to be a cat shop of sorts and I went in and asked to use their phone. They were nice and said yes. But, as I sat down to dial an umber, I fretted, for I hadn’t memorized any numbers! There wasn’t a single person I could call for help!
But wait! I asked the ladies to look up my church online for me. They did so and I was able to call the church office. Yet, I only got the answering machine! So I tried another church number and my pastor BH picked up! I explained to him that my fiance had left me and I didn’t know how to get to the church. Whatever he said wasn’t helpful, as I hung up with no help at all.
Disheartened, I thanked the employees and left, slowly walking back out into the now-night time. It was cooler and then it started to rain, so I ran for cover again in another long, empty type corridor with openings at both ends. In there, I found my sister, J! I was very happy to see her, but she seemed confused as to why I’d be so happy. Nevertheless, after I explained my situation, she went along with me.
I thought I knew where my fiance was staying, and so we traveled quite some time and came to a large, modern apartment complex. But the gate was closed. Forlorn, I looked in at the tall apartments. A voice inside me said that my fiance left me because he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He abandoned me. He used me, but he’d never intended to marry me. And now that he’d come to that point, he was done with me.
I told myself that was all nonsense, but then, where was he? Would I ever see him again? So ended that dream.
I don’t fear my fiance leaving me or using me that I’m aware of. But I do have some fear and worry that the entire lead-up and few days after my wedding will be so chaotic that I’ll be very stressed. With so many moving pieces, I worry something will go wrong that cannot be fixed when it ought to be. I think this dream was an unconscious manifestation of my fears, worries, and stress about it. I seem to have a lot of these dreams.
2019/02/12 8:04:31 pm